Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
