whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
