My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
