Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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