i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
this boner is exhausting
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
