if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
