you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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