I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
