She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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