OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
