even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
