ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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