wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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