what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
