I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
