I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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