You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sober January is a disaster.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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