I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize