i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize