Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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