And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
