yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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