Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
