you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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