i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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