well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
