You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
