Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
