You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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