if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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