It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So apparently I’m into choking now
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
