Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
