I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize