I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
