If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
