OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
