dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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