Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
