Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
