My first STD was from a foam party
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
