I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
