I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
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Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
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Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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