Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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