Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
