Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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