I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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