I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
