is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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