I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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