I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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