it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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