Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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