is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
