Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
