Who wears a wallet chain?!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we should paint friendship bongs
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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