Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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