So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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