I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
