why didn't you poke me back
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
cat food counts as protein by the way
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
