if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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