maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
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Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
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got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.