Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash