stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
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Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks