so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.