I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song