Whod you bang
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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