he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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