he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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