4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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