Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
