Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My dick has a subreddit
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
